


The Plan

by Lady_Lola



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angels, Demons, Desperation, Drunk characters, Friendship, Heaven & Hell, Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), Plotting, The Ineffable Plan (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 02:56:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19714852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Lola/pseuds/Lady_Lola
Summary: The PlanThis is a sort of missing scene between the bus and the park scenes; it’s my take about them coming up with their plan to avoid punishment from both Heaven and Hell.As usual, comments and criticism are more that welcome, but please keep in mind that I’m not a native English speaker. Enjoy!





	The Plan

* * *

They had just got out of the bus, which had miraculously stopped in front of Aziraphale’s in Soho despite being programmed to go to Oxford, and they were standing in front of the entrance on the shop.

“Well, angel, I’d say it’s time to part. I’ll keep an eye on my side, you do the same on yours.” Crowley said, and prepared to miracle himself back at his flat in Mayfair.

“Crowley, wait!” Aziraphale said. “Why don’t you come inside for a cuppa, or something stronger… I have a few bottles of the 1921 Chateau d’Yquem, and as you may know, it was its best year in the last century.” Aziraphale gestured the demon to get inside the now open door.

“Bringing out the big guns, are we?” Crowley joked, a smirk appearing on his face as he got into the newly rebuilt shop.

“The last time I was here, this place was burning down to the ground” Crowley spoke quietly, “I admit it’s quite the miracle that it now looks so pristine”.

He looked at Aziraphale, who was busying himself with the wine and the glasses, his back turned to the demon.

“Well, I just thought that I couldn’t get more in trouble with my side than I already was for stopping the Apocalypse. Consider it a small rebellion” Aziraphale replied, serving the precious drink to his friend and rejoicing at the demon’s smile of approval for his behaviour.

“To the end of the world” Crowley joked.

Aziraphale scoffed at him. “To Adam and his friends, rather than that. Once again, children taught us a precious lesson.”

“Hear hear!”

|||\\\\\|||\\\\\

After a few hours, a couple of bottles had gone, and the two friends were sprawled on the comfortable love seats in the back of the shop.

They were both trying their best at keeping the athmosphere as light as possible, but now that the joy of having saved the world was vanishing, the air was filling up with doubt.

Aziraphale was the first to address the issue.

“What do you think awaits us? I mean, I know both sides are not happy with us meddling with their plan” Aziraphale stated, worrying his hands nervously, “but do you really think they will come after us? We saved the world, surely they will see that! They have to!”

“I can’t bring myself to thinking that Gabriel and the other archangels would have preferred the destroyal of Earth. There must have been a mistake, I’m sure that as soon as they realise how many lives we have saved, they will concur with our choice” Aziraphale added, trying to convince himself of his word, but not quite managing so.

“Oh, ssssssshut up angel!” Crowley hissed.

“I get that your nature wants you to think the best of everyone, but seriously, do ever stop? They cornered you and beat you up, and my side… they sent two dukes of Hell to kill me! Had I not had that Holy Water, I would probably not be here now, and we would have lost!”

“They can’t stand us, and they’re gonna do their best, I mean worst, to get to us” Crowley added quite miserably, putting his head in his hands and massaging his temples with long, lithe fingers.

“What do you think they’ll do then?” Aziraphale asked, looking at Crowley.

He was now sitting stiffly, with his hands on his knees and the back straighter than it had ever been.

Crowley sighed heavily, getting up and passing his fingers in his hair.

“Well, we both know that, in their eyes, our actions are considered a treason. And there is just one way both Heaven and Hell deal with treason.” He added sadly.

“Trial. Judgment.” Aziraphale whispered.

“And punishment by death, yes” Crowley said almost desperately. “It will be a joint effort from both sides, you know. I will be exorcised, dismembered, or maybe doused in Holy Water, and you’ll probably get thrown in Hellfire. It will be cruel, and they will love it”.

“Oh. Well, is there something we can do? Maybe, I don’t know, do as you suggested and hide on Alpha Centauri?” Aziraphale proposed, but the small smile of hope on his lips was betrayed by the fear in his big, blue eyes.

“None can do, angel” Crowley replied muttering. “It might have worked to avoid the fight, but right now, they would follow and find us everywhere. There is no safe place in the universe for us. We’re fucked!” he added angrily, slamming a fist on the end table and making the glasses tremble.

Aziraphale got up from the couch and quickly turned away from his friend. He didn’t want Crowley to see him like this, losing all hopes and falling into the pits of despair.

He put his hands into his pocket, and that’s where he found a tiny slip of paper.

It was a small piece of “The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, witch”, and there was a prophecy written on it.

“When all is faced and all is done, ye must choose your faces wisely, for soon enouff you will be playing with fyre.”

Aziraphale read that sentence repeatedly for a few minutes, and every time he did so, the spark of an idea grated at the back of his wine-fueled brain.

All of a sudden, a flash of light went out in his mind.

“Crowley!” he yelled, startling his companion who was about to fall asleep.

“What? What’s happening? Aziraphale, what’s going on?” Crowley screamed, jumping on his feet and getting ready to battle anyone and anything that dared to put his hands on his best friend and him.

“Look at this” Aziraphale said, excited and impatient.

“Once again, the Nice Prophecies of Agnes Nutter are coming to our rescue! Read this!”, and he pushed the burnt piece of paper in Crowley’s hands.

“Choose your faces wisely, that’s the answer! What if… what if your side got hold of an angel, and mine got hold of a demon?” the angel suggested.

“You’re telling me... that we should… switch sides?” Crowley was incredulous, it sounded like madness to him.

“Yes, well no, well not really!” Aziraphale stammered.

“Listen, my dear, I’m not really talking about switching sides, we both know we can’t do that. I’m talking about pretending! You said that Demons will probably melt you in Holy Water, and Angels will do the same to me with Hellfire, right? But, what if I, an angel, go downstairs and get into that Water, and you get upstairs to… play with fyre? If you pretended to be me, and I pretended to be you, we both could survive our punishment, and walk away!”

“That’s ssssstupid even for you, Aziraphale!” Crowley cried. “And so dangerous, too. What if it doesn’t work? What If they see through our trick? They will destroy us!”

“And what difference will it make?” Aziraphale yelled back.

“We are both condemned, and I refuse to go without trying! I know I don’t act like a soldier, but I am one, and this time I want to fight. I want to fight for us, for our friendship, for our future.”

Aziraphale looked so scared, yet so convinced and hopeful, that Crowley couldn’t help but admire his friend’s desperate attempts in saving them. That was had always drawn him to Aziraphale: his friend’s ever-lasting hope that humanity, destiny, fate, Heaven would do/say/make happen the right thing. He couldn’t help but smile a bit, the small, private smile that only Aziraphale was able to get from him.

With a theatrical gesture, he left himself fall back on the sofa, grabbed the third bottle of wine, downed in one big gulp, and simply said: “What the hell, angel, let’s do it! We’ll go down, but at least we’ll go down with a bang!”

Aziraphale laughed, then turned to the shelves and started looking for the book with the spell they needed for the switch.

And if that exact book was at the exact very top of the exact first row, exactly in front of his eyes, and opened exactly at the right page the very moment Aziraphale touched it, well, it’s not like Someone from above had planned all of it, right?


End file.
